April 15 – Aries New Moon: Releasing Fear

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Aries is the spark that starts the fire and I can’t think of a better way to begin this blog than on an Aries new moon! The energy is lively, curious, courageous and just waiting to get going already! However, with this excitement comes some potential impulsivity. This new moon might make you feel irritable, hasty, and a little depressed. But it does mark a good time for some deep introspection and self-analysis.

In what ways are you courageous? Everyone has strengths and places in their life where they are fearless. What does courage mean to you? Where do you wish you had more courage? Why do you have courage in one place, but not the other? What’s different?

Personal example: I was in the Goat Rocks backpacking with my most amazing aunt (who’s an Aries!) when we had to scramble over a lot of loose rocks. I have terrible depth perception and my sense of balance isn’t the greatest, so I had a lot of fear thinking about the task at hand. But it was either push through that fear and get to our campsite or stay and die on the mountain. I made it across the rocks all right, but hated my aunt for a hot second. As I sat seething, she told me that what I accomplished was an amazing feat and if I am brave enough to do that, I’m brave enough to do anything else, like go on an intimidating job interview or some other challenge. At the time I didn’t think the two were related at all – how can you compare scrambling to a job interview, unless you are interviewing to be a sherpa? But now I realize that fear is just our brain trying to protect us from death, rejection, and lots of other scary things. We also have the power within us to overcome our brain’s safety mechanism and create safety on the other side of that fear.

What fears do you have? Where do those fears come from? What does that fear need to feel safe? What can you do for yourself once you’ve pushed through your fear to land softly and safely? Layla Saad calls the period after pushing through fear the “vulnerability hangover.” Find ways of self-care that work for you and/or find supportive people who can hold your hair back and bring you a sports drink, so to speak.

As you are thinking about the fears you have, closely examine what fears of other people you have. Are there people or cultures you fear? What about dislike or hate? Who makes you feel uncomfortable? Why do they make you feel this way? Can you put yourself in their shoes? Are they trying to do the best that they know how to survive? This is the time to begin unraveling the curse of white supremacy and patriarchy from our lives. EVERYONE needs to do their anti-racism homework because we all come from systems of white supremacy. If you feel like you don’t need to do this work because you’re “not racist,” ask yourself if it is true and you aren’t racist, what’s the harm in doing the work? Many people aren’t aware of ways they are being racist, and many people are afraid that if they find out they are unknowingly racist that will mean they are broken and bad people and not perfect. No one is perfect. None of us. Push through the fear of discovering your hidden shadows so the healing can really begin.

This is all easier said than done, of course, and there’s a wide spectrum with many, many layers of fear. The fear of a small spider is smaller than the fear of jumping out of a plane, coming out to your family, going off to war, etc. And phobias are another creature all together. But the more we practice pushing through our fears the easier it will become. Just remember: this is a journey, not a session.

I like to use crystals to help me meditate because they help me focus. Black obsidian wants to help us push through fear. Once lava from a fiery volcano that was cooled down extremely fast, obsidian is volcanic glass that can help you see the courageous person you are.

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