Book of My Shadows

Today is the Aries New Moon. The energy it brings is that of a fresh start, new ideas, and the excitement of what is to come.

I am not in the mood for this kind of energy right now. You might be, and that’s awesome. This might not be the post for you, however. This post is for those of us who might be struggling a bit more than usual these days. Many of us are isolated due to the current pandemic, and with this isolation we might be dealing with a lot more than the fears of what the future will hold, but all of our shadows that we carry in our psyches on a normal day.

The New Moon is conjunct Chiron, which is why we might be feeling our wounds more intensely. Astrology King explains it best:

“Chiron represents wounding and healing. It is a deep wound in your soul and also the ability to heal yourself and others. The new moon conjunct Chiron exposes your most painful wounds, physical and emotional.”

Astrology King

Chiron’s energy is compounding our fears of the future. But Chiron also offers us the tools we need to overcome our fears, even the ones that we are feeling today.

I have a visualization for unlocking the strength of Chiron, but please only do so if you are in a safe place to be doing interpersonal work. Skip it if you are feeling triggered or in the middle of an emotional flashback, I do not want to exacerbate any struggles you are currently experiencing.

The glyph for Chiron looks like a skeleton key:

Again, if you aren’t in an emotionally, physically, and mentally safe place for introspection, skip ahead past the next image. If you are feeling safe, take some time today to close your eyes and imagine Chiron in the form of this skeleton key coming to visit you. Its purpose is to show you what you have survived thus far, and how strong you are for surviving all you have overcome. Receive the key however best works for you: in your hand, in your lap, however you might be able to sense and feel it. Notice everything you can about it. What does it feel like? How big is it? How heavy does it feel? What temperature is it? What color is it? What else can you notice?

As you hold the key, it starts vibrating and some sparkly white energy seems to be emitting from it. It moves up and around your body and safely scans you looking for the lock it belongs to. This lock is located somewhere you might be protecting your inner child, all your fears, and all the struggles you have experienced thus far in life. The New Moon in Aries, as annoying as it might feel right now, sends down the courage and bravery needed to put the key in the lock and turn it. Note the place in your body where you find the lock.

You hear a click and a door to your psyche opens. Inside, you see statues. This is not what you expected to see. Maybe you thought opening this door to your psyche would unleash all the hungry ghosts or that there would be dragons guard their hoard. But no, the room is still and filled with statues like museum. Some are stone, some are marble, some might even be bronze or clay. Some are perfectly shaped as if Michelangelo himself created this perfect piece of art. Some are amorphous and lack form and structure. At the base of each of the statues is a placard that describes the piece. You see that each statue is a fear, a shadow, a trauma, or some other hidden-away piece of your existence. You realize that in this room you can move closer to each an observe it safely. You can keep your distance as far as you need to, but you know it’s perfectly safe to get right up to it and look at its details up close. These are statues and cannot and will not move. Move around this room, observing each of the statues you see, and make sure you read the placard, so you know what it is you are looking at.

Once you have examined all the statues, move back to the door and look at the entire room. Notice how you are standing in a place with all your fears, shadows, etc. and can acknowledge each one. You might even see some beauty in some of them. You realize while looking at the room that you that you have survived all your previous interactions – that’s how you can be here looking back at them now. The Aries New Moon once again fills you with courage and bravery to know that when you step out of this room, you can keep going in the mundane world knowing that you have the strength to face your fears.

Step back through the door, close it, and lock it. You notice there’s a way for you to label or decorate this door however you wish. Take some time do that now. When you have finished, put Chiron’s key someplace safe, and know you can come back anytime you need to remember that your fears, struggles, all the things, are here with you but you but you have the strength to be with all of them. You have named each one and stood next to them all. You were able to get as close as you need. Their purpose is to show you what you can survive, and they are there when you need a reminder.

Let Chiron’s key serve as a reminder that you possess a great deal of strength to get through these unimaginable times. You have survived thus far, and it is possible to keep surviving through this unstable time.