How are you doing? I hope you are doing as best as you can right now. Are you drinking enough water? Are you eating enough? Are you getting the rest that you need? There’s a lot of deep astrological stuff happening, but what I’d like to focus on today is today’s Full Moon in Libra because that’s the energy a lot of need most right now.
Libra represents diplomacy, partnerships, balance, and relationships, and a lot of this might feel out of kilter during this time. Social distancing measures have many people out of work or working from home, kids out of school, routines disrupted, and any sense of normalcy and routine thrown out the window. Many of us have been forced to slow down and take deeper looks at ourselves, our behaviors, and actions. Some are desperately clinging to denial and naivety, hoping to return to a world where they don’t need to be so self-aware. Others are choosing to take this as a time own their stuff and move through these tough times reinforced and stronger than ever. This Libra Fully Moon can help you fortify the relationship you have with yourself so when you emerge from the social isolation cocoon, you are an iron butterfly blaring In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida knowing that you’ll always be true to yourself. Or something. At least that’s what I’m attempting to do.
Here are some things I’ll be thinking about today, and hopefully for the time to come, to help have a better relationship with myself:
- Examine expectations. When you feel disappointed in yourself, where does that disappointment come from? Expectations are frequently subconscious, what is the root of the expectation you didn’t fulfil? Is it something that actually needs to be fulfilled? Does this expectation align to your personal integrity? Is this an expectation, a need, or a desire? Don’t compare yourself to other people. Everyone is handling this time differently, just as everyone handles life differently. What works for one person might not work for you, and that’s okay.
Example: Many are seeing this time of social isolation as an opportunity to get a lot of stuff done. They’re out there discovering gravity and writing long, boring books, or whatever. I had felt that I should be using this time to do something more “productive” with my existence, but when I questioned where that expectation came from, it was not coming from my personal integrity which told me that this time, for me, is about slowing down and rewiring my nervous system.
- Self-care, however it applies to you. Do you give yourself enough time and space to take care of yourself and do the things that are truly self-care? And I don’t mean the things that everyone else recommends doing for self-care, like take baths or meditate three times a day – unless those things are truly self-care for you. Observe yourself and your home for a day (or more!). What do you do when you need a retreat? Where do small moments of joy appear from? Look at the things you are already doing and see if you can find how you are already self-caring for yourself. If you are in dire straits, which is a perfectly reasonable place to be in right now, what are the basic things you need to do each day to care for your body?
Example: I was finding myself with a long list of all the things I “should” be doing: meditating, creating something, cooking, etc. and getting disappointed with myself when I didn’t meet my expectations of self-care. There were a few days where it was near impossible to get out of bed, let alone feel like a gold-star deserving human being. I decided I would do a minimum of five things every day: get out of bed, take a shower, eat, drink water, and do some sort of movement. And there were days I didn’t do all those things, but instead of being hard on myself, I was compassionate and gave myself a clean slate for the next day. I’ve always wanted to be one of those people who meditates, but I don’t form new habits or routines easily, so asked myself what the goal was for my reason to meditate, and that was to practice more mindfulness so I can become more aware of my thoughts and my reactions to them. Then I thought about my day and asked where I might be able to find more opportunities for mindfulness, and I found them by running without listening to anything and just observing my environment or when I’m making my morning coffee (my new favorite ritual!) or doing the dishes.
- Appreciate yourself and what you have. This is hard for a lot of us. We spend so much of our time and energy being a cheerleader for other people and not for ourselves. We might even be hard on ourselves or punish ourselves for not meeting some sort of expectation, or whatever. We are all ghosts driving meat-coated skeletons made from stardust, doing the best we can with the tools that we have. If this isn’t something to appreciate, I don’t know what is! What are things that you appreciate about yourself? It can be something like, “I have the ability to put food in my mouth, chew it, swallow it, and digest it, which somehow keeps this meatsack going.” What else can your meatsack do?
Example: I like to keep a gratitude journal and find at least three things at the end of the day to be grateful for. Some days are harder than others, and those are the days I’m grateful that my meatsack can survive on what is basically autopilot. On the days that are easier, I won’t stop at three, and I’ll list everything I think of. And when I notice that I got through something difficult, survived a painful conversation, or called Comcast to tell them I was moving (hahaha, j/k lol, can’t bring myself to do that one yet :P), I celebrate it by acknowledging it in some way. Sometimes I’ll tell a friend or my coach, sometimes I’ll sing a song about it to my houseplants.